"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
