I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
