I showed him my bush... on skype.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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