I think I am morally bankrupt
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
