Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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