this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
