I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
