All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
did i just pee glitter
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
