Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
