We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
