It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
do herpes really smell.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
