Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
