he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
