just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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