i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
