just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
