but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
