dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
