You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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