You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We need to get me chipped asap
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