All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
