Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Still dying that you shit outside
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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