just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
