i will never coherently bang her
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
