I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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