He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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