Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's blow job season.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
