You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
