I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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