Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
