so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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