508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
