you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
