what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
