girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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