he told me I talked like a deaf person
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
