I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
