he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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