He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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