...so i touched it.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
