that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I need a beard to bite.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
