He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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