Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
