do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
