We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
