Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
