who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
did i just pee glitter
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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