ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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