Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
