I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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