K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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